Support is for the Strong

by | Oct 11, 2022 | Actionable Insights, Clarity, Connective, Flow, Insights, Transformation | 0 comments

How do you feel about support? Are you of the mind that if you seek out, embrace, or regularly receive support, it’s a form of weakness? Do you believe that you aren’t tough enough if you need support? In my experience, the way you answer this question says a lot about how quickly you can achieve success as a leader.

In a recent yoga class, I observed the reactions of my fellow practitioners when the teacher guided us to grab support tools before getting on our mats. Some, like me, were excited about using props to help us access greater strength and flexibility. Some clearly felt resistance to the idea of relying on these tools outside themselves. I could practically hear their thoughts: I don’t need those.

The status quo: support is for the weak

It’s common among leaders to view support as a weakness. And yet, the best leaders know the little-practiced secret that support, when used correctly, can be your most powerful (and fastest) path to greater success. When I’m on my yoga mat and I’m using the blocks, I can push my body in ways I can’t when unassisted. And in my business, I can lean on my team, my technology, and my outside partnerships to grow revenue.

This notion of support and how we accept it culturally is one that I want to shift. I have seen massive resistance to support among leaders we work with. There is often a long list of reasons as to why they don’t need it, they don’t have time right now, or it’s not a priority. Yet – getting the support helps you go the distance more quickly. It helps you get clearer. It helps you reach your goals without as much force. Here, I share my journey to accepting support. For me, it began with mindset.

I recognized what was really holding me back

Have you ever said any of the following out loud, or to yourself?

  • I shouldn’t pay someone else to do what I can do
  • If I need other people to help me, I become less valuable
  • I’m proud of how busy I am
  • If I’m not a little burned out, I’m not trying hard enough

These are all thoughts I used to have. The resistance I have internally is what I call “the shoulds.” 

You’re capable, you should do it yourself. You shouldn’t waste the money. 

It ties back to my self worth. To escape these thought patterns, the decision now comes down to: is this my highest and best use? What will I NOT be able to do if I choose to continue to engage in this? What will I NOT be able to achieve if I don’t get support?

I was a CPA. I spent 8 years of my career in Public Accounting. So you could say – I “should” take on this role for Glowe because resources are constrained and I have this expertise. And yet, there’s a reason I’m not an accountant. It doesn’t energize me. In fact, it frustrates me to be doing this instead of other activities that can grow my business. I wrestled with this tension for many months when I founded Glowe. I felt guilty about having someone take on a role I was more than capable of taking on. And yet, hiring an outsourced CFO solution turned out to be a HUGE relief.

Similarly, my business partner CAN take on social media marketing. However, from my perspective, allowing her to do all the things she CAN do is one of the greatest risks our business can take. It robs her of the ability to do deep creative work in other areas that have a higher impact on our business today. And in order to grow our business, we have to maximize the impact of each of our superpowers. We hired our wonderful marketing partners Dhanda Designs to do this, and we’ve never looked back.

I learned to trust my intuition

I have wrestled with ‘needing’ support for a very long time. I hope to accelerate the timeline to success for you, so you don’t struggle for as long as I did. I always sensed there was a better way, and yet so many people around me in my career had the perspective that if you can do it, you should. It was their badge of honor because it created more work for them. It made them feel important. 

I didn’t realize how many things I was holding on to, because I loved the idea of having all the things on my plate. It made me feel worthy, and other people equated my dollar worth to how much I had on my plate. In hindsight, it’s obvious how absurd this was, and how it came from a place of lack. Yet, it took me a while, as well as a long break from the environment I was in, to see it more clearly. I want a full LIFE, not a full plate. Which is what I have now.

I got clear on my value

The biggest difference between when I’ve engaged support and when I haven’t is that the results or accomplishments are MUCH faster and higher-quality. It’s taken me a long time to embrace that in the areas where I’m not strong, others are, and it behooves me to partner with them. I am very strong with ideating, visioning, gaining clarity and creating strategy. I am not strong with execution, detailing out a plan, or making something more clear and concise. But that’s OK. 

I’ve learned to eliminate the feelings of shame and celebrate my strengths over punishing myself for being weak at other things. Now I’m very clear on my value. Inspire. Create. Connect. When I am doing those things, magic happens. When I stop at that line and embrace the support of others to take it to the finish, the results are incredible. Yes, I am strong. But when I embrace support, I am superhuman. I no longer accept “the way things have always been done” – I’m building a new way with Glowe. And I invite you to transform the way you do business, too.

Contact us today to learn more!